Don't Touch it YOUR'E going to DIE.

So my mommIE (that's the way she likes it spelled) is probably going to kill me over this post but here goes nothing.

Don't Touch it Your'e going to Die was a mantra my brother and I grew up with.  This was yelled usually after our whole names "Morgan MacKenzie Wright get the hell in here" or right after the ship's bell... yes I said SHIP bell was rang which in itself would embarrass the fuck out of us because all of our friends thought it was the ice cream man but alas it was Angry Mom. 

Whenever we would hurt ourselves we would hear this.  This was heard when I got stung by a bee (allergic and swell up like Violet on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), this was also heard when I had talked Nathan into sticking a crape myrtle bud in his nose.... it wasnt my freaking fault that the idiot sucked in instead of snot rocketing it out like I SHOWED him.  When he heard he was going to die he started crying and sucked it in more which got said bud really really stuck.  A quick trip to the ER got it out. 

This is going to be playing in my head when my mommIE takes care of me after my surgery.  Don't get me wrong she is the strongest person I know but.... she can be a little weird at times.  I keep having thoughts of her having remembrance or memorial ceremonies for Her Majesty Queen of the Damned.  A candlelight vigil might be nice also how long of a mourning period is there for a loss of this magnitude?  Are we talking tacky rest in peace shirts or full on Victorian era type mourning.

Though mourning jewelry has existed for thousands of years, it reached its peak during the Victorian era. Only jet (black amber) jewelry was allowed during First Mourning. Hair art was a popular trend. Hair of the deceased would be incorporated into lockets, brooches, watch fobs, and rings..... this is NOT going to happen, that would be awkward as hell. 

For one entire year, a woman could not leave her house without Full Mourning attire and a weeping veil. She could attend church services, but was never to be seen at places of amusement or entertainment. Even the houses were fully draped in black crepe banners to signify that there had been a death.... yeah right.  The death of my birthing ability is not going to make me mourn for shit... Probably throw a thanks for being there for 34 or so years but glad to see you go.  The veil might be cool though, just like a little jauntily perched wisp of lace type material, but I think it may be against AFI 36-2903 and according to them I am just soooo precariously perching on the line with not shaving my legs (I did not realize this was so offensive to that many people.... when are they going to add mens chest/back hair that creeps up above their collars?).  Oh yeah about leg hair, I have noticed that when I dont have a boyfriend my leg hair tends to grow at a faster rate OR I just get lazy.  I tried to shave yesterday before my appointment and that didnt go to well so I just wore long socks.  I dont think they noticed.

On a serious note, I need to redo my Will as Ray the "oh yeah this is my wife" Lewis is still on there and we allll know how that low budget episode of Cheaters went.  (I did NOT beat the shit out of him as I was in Virginia and they like to arrest people) This is just in case something horrible happens.  I also want to donate my body to science, specifically to the body farm at the University of Tennessee because that would just be bad ass.  I wonder if they will take the random uterus?  What's up Dr. Bass... call me!

I, Morgan Wright, do hereby dispose of and give my body, after my death, to The University of Tennessee, Knoxville, for use by the Department of Anthropology or its designee, for educational and research purposes. I request, authorize, and instruct my surviving spouse, next-of-kin, executor or the
physician who certifies my death to notify The University of Tennessee, Department of
Anthropology (telephone: (865) 974-4408), immediately after my death of the
availability of my body.

Maybe they can keep my tattoos... that would be creepy but would probably make a great lampshade.  But again the ADD has kicked in... back on topic Morgan, your vahyena.

She hates me again today.  I'm hoping it is just from the biopsy yesterday but maybe she heard her time here is limited and has started packing up shop.  


Here is a picture of Kelly's cat Shadow.  This is what I do besides make jewelry and work.